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Episode #0 - An Introduction

Super Al
Rough Age - Middle aged.
Occupation - Owns many businesses in Telford, including The Mary Rose.
Relationships - Currently single. Has no real friends due to his rule of the area and the way he does business. Apocalypse Dude and Voodoo Doctor help him keep control of his local investments.

Corinthians
Rough Age - Late twenties.
Occupation - Waits tables in the local caf�.
Relationships - She is currently with Runover Hedgehog, who she lives with. They have being together, on-and-off, for roughly six years. She is mother of The Dark One and The Sith Lord. Only Corinthians knows who the father of The Dark One is, though everyone can tell that the father is black. Sith Lord is thought to be Runover Hedgehog's son, though not everyone agrees.

Runover Hedgehog
Rough Age - Mid twenties.
Occupation - Policeman.
Relationships - He is currently with Corinthians, who he lives with. They have being together, on-and-off, for roughly six years. He is also thought to be the father of The Sith Lord.

Rick Flair
Rough Age - Late teens.
Occupation - He's currently having his gap year, and is unemployed.
Relationships - He's never had a girlfriend, and has no real friends. However, pretty much everyone is his acquaintance. Hates Koff Drop.

Koff Drop
Rough Age - Late fifties.
Occupation - Owns and co-runs the local chemist's, Koff's Drops, with Koffdrop's Muse.
Relationships - Has been married to Koffdrop's Muse for around fifteen years, although no one really knows how long they've been together. Had one long-term relationship before he met Koffdrop's Muse. Is the father of Third Eye, with Koffdrop's Muse. Hates Rick Flair. Friends with The Baker.

Theory Of Games
Rough Age - Late teens.
Occupation - Runs a music stall in the market, where he pushes odd bands that no one has heard of. He's also part of a rather unsuccessful band, named Audiology, which struggles to find gigs.
Relationships - Currently single. Friends with Android Eighteen A, Zander Version One, dr48 and Kidderz. Son of Whin Ox. Does not know his mother. Hates townies, especially Smokin' Fish and Ace Rimmer, for picking on his dad.

Retro Bob
Rough Age - Mid-seventies.
Occupation - Old Age Pensioner.
Relationships - What relationships?

Raine
Rough Age - Mid-thirties.
Occupation - Super Al's right hand man.
Relationships - Currently single, and struggles to keep a girl.

Koffdrops's Muse
Rough Age - Mid-fifties.
Occupation - Co-runs the local chemist's, Koff's Drops, with Koff Drop.
Relationships - Has been married to Koff Drop for around fifteen years, although no one really knows how long they've been together. She is the mother of two children, Third Eye with Koff Drop and another, older child with an unknown father. Her older child lives with its father. Friends with The Baker.

Tim
Rough Age - Early twenties.
Occupation - Works behind the bar at The Mary Rose.
Relationships - Gets on with everyone, but doesn't fancy himself too much with women due to being wimpy and nervous.

The Sith Lord
Rough Age - Kiddywinkle.
Occupation - Primary School.
Relationships - Son of Corinthians, younger brother of The Dark One. He's white and thought to be Runover Hedgehog's son. However, some are not so sure of that assessment.

Kid A
Rough Age - Late thirties.
Occupation - Owns and runs a flower shop, called Petal Power.
Relationships - Father of Kidderz.

Felt Monkey
Rough Age - Mid twenties.
Occupation - Works for Kid A in his flower shop, Petal Power.
Relationships - Single, as he is the only gay in the village.

Big Boss
Rough Age - Early forties.
Occupation - Runs the pub for Super Al.
Relationships - Likes his women young, and is currently with Lizzy Pop.

The Dark One
Rough Age - Kiddywinkle.
Occupation - Primary School.
Relationships - Son of Corinthians, older brother of The Sith Lord. He is mixed race, and his father is unknown to all but his mother.

Lizzy Pop
Rough Age - Mid-twenties.
Occupation - Works behind the bar in The Mary Rose.
Relationships - Currently with Big Boss.

I Solate Phazon
Rough Age - Around fifty, although no one really knows his true age.
Occupation - Unemployed, is a tramp.
Relationships - Hates all children, notably The Dark One and The Sith Lord.

Switch
Rough Age - Late teens.
Occupation - Still living with his parents, he cleans the market for extra money.
Relationships - Currently single. Friends with dr48. Kylix is his mother, and Zilon is his dad.

The Baker
Rough Age - Mid-forties.
Occupation - Owns and runs the local baker's, The Baker's.
Relationships - Single, and is good friends with Koff Drop and Koffdrop's Muse.