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Episode #1 - Rick Flair Turns Eighteen

The TGNders logo flashes on screen, and we have our credits. When finished, we fade into a clock, which is at seven o'clock. The camera comes backwards to reveal a rowdy pub, with Rick Flair in the middle of our screen.

Rick Flair: "Please, it's my birthday!"

Theory Of Games: "Eh... I dunno mate."

Rick Flair: "Oh go on, join my little celebration. This'll be the first time I've ever drank alcohol!"

Group: "..."

Rick Flair: "Drinks are on me?"

Group: "Sure!"

The front door bursts open, and a cloaked figure walks in. He shows his face, and he's old and very wrinkled.

Retro Bob: "Retroid! I haven't seen you in years!"

Retroid joins Retro Bob, who was alone, and they hit it off just like they did all those years ago.

Retroid: "Kids these days, eh?"

Retro Bob: "Oh aye. They laugh at us just because we're stereotypes... it's awful."

Camera to the left, and we see Runover Hedgehog and Corinthians getting up from their table.

Runover Hedgehog: "Right, I'm off to check on the kids... coming?"

Corinthians: "Mmm, that would depend on what you got planned for the night."

The tipsy Corinthians loses balance and falls into Hedgehog.

Runover Hedgehog: "Err, sorry; I've got the early shift in the morning, and I told you the new sarge starts tomorrow."

Corinthians: "All right darling, I'll be over in a minute, just let me get my things."

Hedgehog then leaves as Corinthians... goes over to the bar. SWERVE! She orders a drink and starts flirting with Tim, who is his usual shy self.

We then see Rick Flair buy his first round of drinks for himself, Theory Of Games, dr48, Zander Version One and a couple of others.

The camera fades into a shot of the pub's clock, which is now at eleven o'clock. We see the full pub, and it's very noisy, with Rick Flair accounting for most of that noise. He's standing in the middle of the pub, singing "Hit Me Baby", and the pub obviously hates it. Some are too polite, some will take it for the free drinks, and some are neither.

Theory Of Games: "WHY ARE YOU SINGING?!"

Rick Flair: "cos its my trademark you div."

Zander Version One: "Please, PLEASE, stop singing."

Rick Flair: "get a job you ponce."

dr48: "HEY, don't say that about my--"

Rick Flair: "like I said earlier go bum bill paxton."

Flair starts singing again, and stumbling around like a drunken fool. He walks over to the bar, where Lizzy Pop is waiting.

Rick Flair: "hey you mug punter."

Big Boss: "Rick, don't ever talk to Liz like that."

Flair then slams down his glass in anger, causing his beer to splash onto Liz's top. Liz then screamed;

Lizzy Pop: "Do you know how much this cost?!"

Rick Flair: "same as your mum 5 pence she was dirrrty."

Flair then brings his arm around to point at Liz's forehead, dousing her with more lager in the process.

Big Boss: "That is IT! Go on gerout! Gerout o' my pub!"

Scared by the sudden anger from Big Boss - Rick drop his glass, and it smashes on the floor. He knows he must go, so grudgingly he makes his way to the door.

Rick Flair: "at least ive lost my virginity unlike you uber nerds. see you w@nkers later."

Flair then leaves the pub, dejected and miserable. He stinks too. He walks home, and gets to Koff's Drops. Flair and Koff's rivalry has lasted at least ten years, and Flair remembered what he had called him earlier in the day. Something about needing a girlfriend. He knew about Koff's problems. He knew that Koff was in debt, MAJOR debt. And Koffdrop's Muse didn't have a clue. Well, in Rick's drunken state, he thought it would be a great idea to spraypaint the shutters of Koff's Drops...

P H O N Y
KOFF DROP YOU IS TEH FAKE

Rick Flair: "hey, hey, the guy who lives here is a phony! a big fat phony!"

The camera goes far to the right and we see Koff Drop and Koffdrop's Muse, walking home from the pub. They see what Rick has done.

Koffdrop's Muse: "RIIIICKKAAAAAAAAY!!!"

Koff Drop: "You little..."

Koff Drop and Koffdrop's Muse run to confront Rick Flair, and being as drunk as he is, he doesn't move.

Koff Drop: "Why the hell did you do this?!"

Rick Flair: "becuase I hate you... and because, i know what you did last summer."

The two stare down as we see that a crowd has formed.

I Solate Phazon: "Did someone touch my box?"

Felt Monkey: "What's all this commotion? Is there someone new in the village? Are they gay?

Whin Ox: "Heh, this'll put Koff Drop in even more debt!"

Koff Drop: "What did you just say, Whin Ox?!"

Koff Drop then lunged at Whin Ox. However, he was stopped by Rick Flair. Of course, Rick was not trying to prevent a fight from happening, quite the opposite. He was attacking Koff Drop in his own unique way; he had him by the waist from behind, and was thrusting forward and backward.

Rick Flair: "GERMAN SUPLEX!"

However, Koff resisted his efforts, and was baffled by how he was attacking him. The observing townies, Smokin' Fish and Ace Rimmer, were disappointed: they wanted Koff Drop to get his hands on Whin Ox. Many were laughing at the homoerotic sight before them.

"He's raping him!"

"RAPE!"

Despite the comedy of what was happening, everyone knew it was supposed to be an attack. Some of the crowd went forward to break up the homo hold, while Whin Ox scarpered from Koff Drop and the local townies...

DUM DUM DUM DUM~!

DIRECTOR -- Zander Version One
PRODUCER-- dr48
WRITER-- Zander Version One
STORY-- dr48
EVENTS-- Zander Version One
EDITOR-- dr48
SOUND-- Zander Version One
CAMERAS-- dr48
LIGHTING-- Zander Version One
SET DESIGN-- dr48
ORIGINAL IDEA-- Zander Version One
SOUND EDITOR-- dr48
VIDEO EDITOR-- Zander Version One
PLACE NAMES-- dr48
CHARACTERS-- Zander Version One
LOCATION--dr48
NAMES-- Zannder Version One
WEBSITE-- dr48
SPECIAL EFFECTS-- Guess who.
STUNT DOUBLE-- Yes, we are up ourselves.