Panning through The Mary Rose, an eerie silence washes over the building as dr48 walks up to the Karaoke Machine microphone, seemingly to make an announcement.

dr48: ?I've paid my dues, Time after time
                       I've done my sentence
                       But committed no crime
                       And bad mistakes
                       I've made a few
                       I've had my share of sand
                       Kicked in my face
                       But I've come through
                       And I need to go on and on and on and on?

Hiro Tim (heckling): ?Shut up and give us what we came for!?

dr48: ?Oi oi, someone?s keen?

Voodoo Chile: ?This badly organised public performance needs more OAPs fellating each other!?

A visibly nervous Retroid, complete with grey beard and thermal vest, wiggles in his seat whilst subconsciously giving his walking stick a hand job.

dr48 (trying to get the crowd going): ?Did somebody say yearly Pub Quiz??

(Not yearly in the annual sense of the word, yearly in the ?that?s how long it takes to get served around here, and was I ever even a part of it?? sense.)

Mr Party Hat: ?No, just give us the results!?

dr48: ?Well I?d just like to get the pub landlord in to announce the results?

dr48 wanders of stage coming back wearing a false beard and sparkly waistcoat ? clearly indicating he?s a professional in the showbiz world.

Mysterious Landlord: ?So ? before I get on with the main proceedings of the night?

A loud groan is clearly audible as the constant delay loses any comic effect it ever had

Mysterious Landlord:  ?I?d like to thank you all for your continued custom throughout the duration and the amount of alcohol consumed?

He looks at Corinthians9:25 slumped under the beer tap, running freely into her mouth with the last 3 numbers on the ?Corinthians Tab Meter? spinning so fast they?re just a blur.

Mysterious Landlord:  ?Which has made my takeover of the pub from Super Al as seamless as possible. I do of course wish Big Boss the best of luck with his trouble in the courts ? which due to legal reasons has prevented us from airing any of the CCTV footage from around Telford publicly?

He winks at the camera in a manner somehow meant to make up for the 12+ month absence of anything resembling TGNders.

Mysterious Landlord: ?Now without any further ado, I?ll open this here golden envelope and reveal that the winner of the AXA ?making your pension go further? sponsored Pub Quiz is? Mr Thirdebee!?

There are shouts of jubilation and groans of disappointment in almost equal measure as dr48 runs across the stage in beard and sparkly waistcoat throwing pocketfuls of glitter at anyone too slow to be able to move out of the way. 

Zebedee: ?Woo ? I?d like to thank all the little people who made it possible for us to have this great moment of victory, and in memory of Third Eye and his giant appendage ? I?m doing a special half price offer on quality fire extinguishers, one careful lady own, for all old or new Telford residents.?

Fighter O? Foo: ?Don?t you mean all residents of Telford? This is exactly the same place as it has always been, there?s no change. Not that we care about losing, because we know we won really. Not that we care.?

Zebedee: ?Huh, yeah that?s right ? quality merchandise for all Telford residents, just give me a chance to go get my suitcase and we?ll be in business. 

An irate drunken Hiro Tim starts shouting Irish ?words? at dr48 who can but stare blankly into the middle distance as the cameras zoom in for the close up on his handsome, well defined facial features.

dr48 (catching on): ?Oh right, sorry Timpey ? commiserations and all that but you fecked it up for your team from day one, even Ren Of Heaven?s last minute return couldn?t save you.?

A shocked silence descends upon The Mary Rose as a polka dot bandana becomes visible through the window of the pub?s door.

DUM DUM DUM DUM~!

Written and edited by dr48