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Episode #2 - Around The Square

The annoying theme tune finishes as shots blur together then we see it's light, with the sun casting short morning shadows across the market. The camera pans down the road, showing Switch sweeping up the rubbish from the previous night, looking miserable in his fluorescent jacket.

The shot cuts through into a bedroom, where we see Corinthians lying in bed.

The Dark One: "Oi, MUM - get up, if I'm late for school again today then I'm gonna get a det."

Corinthians: "Well then maybe you should hurry up ya lazy arse."

Holding her head, Corinthians crawls out of bed and stumbles into the bathroom where she gets dressed, whilst cursing about the amount she had to drink the night before.

The view changes to show Theory of Games putting out some CDs (of which some look decidedly dodgy) on his stall. Switch walks past the back of the stall again, broom in hand, looking a little chirpier than usual.

dr48 walks out of The Baker's with a couple of freshly baked croissants. Looking back he shouts across to Theory Of Games;

dr48: "Theory, you free at lunch?"

Theory Of Games: "Yeah I think so, why?"

dr48: "I've gotta get to work now, but I'll see you in The Rose at one."

In a darkened living room we see Koffdrop's Muse suddenly get up and run, then we hear the distinct sound of vomiting over the television from the bathroom. When she returns, we see her pick up the phone book, and leaf through to "Doctors" before dialling.

Koffdrop's Muse: "Hi, can I have an appointment to see Doctor Ramoray please - this afternoon if possible"

Something is said back, most words can't be made out though.

Koffdrop's Muse: "That's great thanks."

We see Corinthians running up to the caf? - where she pulls out a key and unlocks it. A customer walks in, standing in the doorway he starts trying to intimidate Corinthians.

Voodoo Doctor: "You were late this morning, the boss isn't going to be happy."

Corinthians: "I was two minutes late, give me a break Voodoo, I had to get the kids to school didn't I?"

Corinthians leans forward onto the counter, and looks up at Voodoo Doctor and smiles...

Corinthians: "After all, I'll be nicer to you if you can be nicer to me."

Voodoo Doctor: "Yeah, well... err, you know what the boss can be like.".

Corinthians stands up so that Voodoo Doctor can no longer see down her top, and takes a much sterner tone of voice...

Corinthians: "Well tell Al to get off my back, I had enough of him in the past and I won't be intimidated any more, and I don't think he would want to make me too unhappy, what with Hedgehog being with a copper an' all, do you?"

Voodoo Doctor: "Well just, be on time tomorrow - and whilst I'm here I'd better get him a tea, and one for myself."

As we follow Voodoo Doctor out of the caf? he walks past Kidderz and Zander Version One talking to Theory Of Games, before walking out of shot through the market.

Zander: "You hear what happened on the estate?"

Kidderz: "Who hasn't? Who you think done it?"

Theory Of Games: "Probably Smokin' Fish or that prick Rimmer again."

Kidderz: "Nah, it don't sound like their style, I mean they just left him there lying down that alley semi-conscious."

Zander: "But what was he doing down there anyway - I mean he don't live in Kilnside does he, and it's hardly the best place to sleep at night."

Theory Of Games walks off, back to his stall to try and help a customer who is looking through some EPs under the "Classics" header.

Kidderz: "You reckon he was gonna try and rob someone's house then?"

Zander: "Well if you were sleeping rough, and with no money for food - what would you?"

Kidderz: "I s'pose... anyways - I got to get to my Dad's shop - Felt Monkey is going to be late today."

Zander: "Yeah, same - I need to find something better paid though, my brother is trying to hide it, but I know we're proper short on cash."

Kidderz: "If things get that bad then I'm sure my Dad could lend you some money.".

Zander: "Thanks, but you know what dr48 is like - too stubborn to let anyone help him."

Kidderz walks off to Petal Power, where we see Kid A pruning some flowers and arranging them into a bouquet.

Kid A: "Can you look after the shop for about ten minutes? I've got to pop out to get something."

Kidderz: "Alright - I think that's Felt crossing the square as it is anyways."

Kid A: "Cheers son, I'll be back as quick as I can."

Kid A walks out of the glass fronted shop door, and stops to talk to Felt Monkey, who soon reaches the shop and enters, after re-adjusting his PVC hot pants.

Felt Monkey: "Hello Kidderz, how you doing today?"

Kidderz: "Fine thanks, how were things at the hospital? What was that all about?"

Felt Monkey: "Don't worry about that, it's because I'm gay you see."

Kidderz: "Is anything wrong?".

Felt Monkey: "Don't worry, you wouldn't understand, nobody would understand, its because you're not gay, it can be lonely, nobody understands what it's like to be gay."

Kidderz: "But isn't..."

Felt Monkey: "No no, I'm the only gay in the village.".

Kidderz: "I'm sure he is."

Felt Monkey: "You can't tell, you have to be gay to tell if someone is, and I'm the only gay in this village.".

"Beep beep beep, bee bee, beep beep beep" Kidderz reaches for his phone to read his text message:

From: RenOfHeavens

Message: "70 ways to make a woman happy: Number 1 is shopping and the rest is 69."

Smirking, Kidderz put his phone back in his pocket.

Kidderz: "It's not surprising he doesn't get on too well with Android."

Koff Drop walks in and turns to Felt Monkey.

Koff Drop: "Any particular flowers you could recommend for 'Muse? She isn't very well today."

Felt Monkey: "These should do."

Horrified at the price, Koff Drop reluctantly hands over the money.

Felt Monkey: "What was that all about last night with Rick then Koff?"

Shifting a little nervously now with the questioning about how things are going...

Koff Drop: "Errrm I'm not too sure - I just hope that one of these days the little gobshite will get what's coming to him, sorry - I've got to get back to the shop now."

Felt Monkey: "Okay then, tell 'Muse I hope she gets better soon."

Back outside we see Tim crossing the square towards the pub, whilst Koffdrop's Muse walks up to the doctors. Passing Telford Tube station 'Muse walks into the surgery, where the waiting room is as busy as ever.

Koffdrop's Muse: "I'm here to see Dr. Drake Ramoray please."

Receptionist: "Take a seat."

In limp's Whin Ox - with an apparent dodgy left knee, who then starts ranting to someone who apparently has never seen him before. "The prattling continues..." mutters 'Muse under her breath.

Whin Ox: "Bloody townies, they went after my Grandad - so of course I had to try and protect him so I yelled 'If you touch him, I will knock your fcuking face off'. One of them picked up a plank with a nail in it and chased me, I got away though but done my knee in which is why I am here now, but I swear he don't wanna be near me if I lose again, 'cos they wont survive."

Glad to get away, as soon as the stranger's name was called out over the speaker - he was up and away like a shot.

Tim opens the side door and walks into The Mary Rose, where we see Big Boss and Lizzy Pop snogging behind the bar. Embarrassed, Tim looks the other way and quickly busies himself clearing up some of the glasses and rubbish that had been left out from the night before - pretending not to notice. When Lizzy Pop realises Tim is there she leans back and says something quietly to Big Boss, who then looks a bit unhappy but walks off, out the back of the pub where we see him disappears up the stairs.

Lizzy Pop: "Hey Tim."

Tim: "Hi."

Lizzy Pop: "I see you were getting friendly with Corinthians last night."

Tim: "I don't know what you mean - she asked for a drink so I gave her one."

Lizzy Pop: "She looked like she wanted more than a drink from you last night."

Tim: "I think you've got to be imagining things, you know Corinthians is with Runover."

Lizzy Pop: "So how is your love life at the moment - seeing anyone special?"

Tim avoids eye contact with Lizzy, and mumbles something.

Tim: "Errrmm ... I think the men's toilets need cleaning - I best go get that done."

Back at the doctors we see Dr. Drake Ramoray walk out, looking very smart in his shirt and tie, he hands over some files to the receptionist and turns around. He looks around the waiting room, smiling at the people he makes eye contact with, before speaking;

Dr. Drake Ramoray: "Koffdrop's Muse, if you wouldn't mind coming through now - sorry about the wait, we're a bit busy at the moment and short on staff.".

Koffdrop's Muse gets up and walks through behind Dr. Drake Ramoray, who holds the door to his office open for her to walk through, and then closes it behind her.

As the door shuts, our viewpoint changes to the market, where we see Theory Of Games look at his watch. He glances up, spotting Third Eye walking out of the caf? with a polystyrene cup full of tea.

Theory Of Games: "Third Eye, ye couldn't do us a favour could you?"

Third Eye walks over to Theory Of Games, who is standing by his stall. Third Eye takes a sip and then spits it out.

Third Eye: "Jesus, that's hot. Now, what can I do you for?"

Trying not to smirk at the look on Third Eye's face, and the fact that he hadn't realised that in the process of burning his mouth, he had dribbled tea down his front and looked like a complete idiot, Theory Of Games asks Third Eye to look after his stall whilst he goes into the pub to grab a drink and something to eat.

As he walks over to The Mary Rose, Theory Of Games bumps into a new character to the screen, dressed in red t-shirt and sporting a polka dot bandana.

Theory Of Games: "Hi Ren, fancy going into the pub for a drink, need to discuss something with you about the band anyway."

RenOfHeavens takes a look at his watch face, which displays '1:07 pm'.

Ren Of Heavens: "Yeah alright then, so long as you get in the first couple o' drinks."

Theory Of Games: "Cheeky bugger you are."

As they walk through the doors of the pub, Theory Of Games walks up to dr48 who is standing at the bar with a part finished pint.

Theory Of Games: "Sorry I'm a bit late mate."

dr48: "Nah, don't worry - I've only been here a couple of minutes."

Theory Of Games: "Ren Of Heavens is here, I'm just gonna get a couple of drinks and go and sit down over there."

dr48 takes his drink over to where Ren Of Heavens is sitting at a table near the corner of the pub. Theory Of Games waits for Big Boss to finish serving Penis Envy.

Big Boss: "What can I get you, Theory?"

Theory Of Games: "Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps."

We see Kidderz and Zander Version One walk in through the door, as Theory Of Games hands some money over to Big Boss. They all walk over to the corner where Ren Of Heavens and dr48 are already sitting.

dr48: "So how's the band going? Recorded anything yet?"

Theory Of Games: "Not yet, still need to get the money from my Xbox so I can buy the digital multitrack."

Ren Of Heavens: "You don't need to rush with that yet, as we still need a drummer - and a drum kit to be able to play."

dr48: "Things not looking too good then."

Kidderz: "At least we won't have to put up with any of your racket for a bit then."

Ren Of Heavens: "I dunno, we can put on some extra practices just for you."

Zander: "I'm sure we can lend you a couple of bins for drums - might sound a bit better than usual then."

Theory Of Games: "Thanks for the vote of confidence there guys."

dr48: "Any time."

Smiling, they all reach for their drinks.

dr48: "So, anyone know when Android gets back?"

Zander: "Errm, day after tomorrow I think, why?"

dr48: "No particular reason, just wondering."

Kidderz: "Where'd she go anyway?"

dr48: "Glamorous break in Bognor I think."

We move out of the corner, and see RetroBob stumbling in through the door, complaining about "people today" as he tries to get through to the bar. He passes Super Al and Raine, both sitting in neat suits talking about business.

Super Al: "I hear through the grapevine that Corinthians was late again today - let her know that I am not to be messed around with, get Apocalypse Dude to remind her that I still own that caf?."

Raine: "I'd be careful with her, she's a crafty bitch, and I'm sure she could convince half the guys in Telford to help her if she needed, what with her track record."

Super Al: "I don't care who the hell she can get to help her, the tart deserves to be put in her place, it wasn't just all that make up that caused her to have a red face all those years ago."

Raine: "Alright boss, I just think we need to be a bit careful with her - after all she knows a bit too much about some of your business activities, and is shacked up with a copper."

Super Al: "The pig's no problem, he was cheaper than half a pound o' bacon, lets just say he had a meeting down dark alley with a certain 'Voodoo Doctor' whilst on duty, he knows who's boss of this place. Now I'm off to the factory - putting in an appearance always keeps productivity up, after all - a scared worker is a productive worker. Now just remember - you need to stop questioning me, I'm still in charge around here."

Super Al walks out of the pub, and as the door slams Raine checks the time on the pub clock and mutters under his breath "Not for long if I have anything to do with it."

DUM DUM DUM DUM~!

Writer-- dr48
Editor--Zander Version One